


If you could see that I'm the one

by apolloxbvcky



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Ep 9 broke me, Gay Nanjo Kojiro | Joe, Gay Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom, I dont know how to tag, Joe is sad someone hug him, M/M, Nanjo Kojiro | Joe POV, No beta we die like Adam, One-Sided Attraction, This Is Sad, Title from a Taylor Swift Song, i think, set after episode 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29886705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apolloxbvcky/pseuds/apolloxbvcky
Summary: He had tried so hard to prove he could beat him, not because he wanted someone to beat ADAM, whoever it was, but because he wanted to prove Ainosuke he was good enough for him, he had always been.And Kojiro knew Kaoru was too good for him.
Relationships: Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom
Comments: 6
Kudos: 101





	If you could see that I'm the one

**Author's Note:**

> So. Episode 9, am I right? 
> 
> Also, normalize blaming all my problems on ADAM existing.

After he made sure Kaoru was home and safe, he drove back to his own apartment. Once there, he climbed down the motorbike and, helmet in hand, walked towards his building. 

  
He greeted his doorman with a nod and a soft ‘Good night’, to then walk towards the elevator and drop his head against the wall as soon as the doors closed behind him. 

It had been a long day at  _ Sialaluce _ , and even longer at S. He had not only lost against Langa, which didn’t really hurt his pride, but it made him worry about the well being of the kid – if he ended up like Kaoru had today…

Right, Kaoru.

The memory of Kaoru entering the restaurant, still in his hospital robe, his arm on a cast, sitting on a wheelchair… it had been enough for Kojiro to want to go find Ainosuke and rip his head off his body. 

He presses his eyes closed, banging his head against the elevator wall. 

The bell dings and the doors open, and Kojiro drags his feet towards his door, opening it with his free hand and throwing his shoes off and his helmet to the side when he’s inside. He doesn’t bother taking off his chef uniform; he walks slowly towards his bedroom. 

He drops on the bed, and sighs against the pillow again. Reaching his back pocket, he takes his phone out and checks his notifications. There’s some work emails, three lost calls, and a few messages from Reki. He opens those first. 

_ 12.48 _

_ sorry u lost. i rlly wish u had won.  _

_ 01.56 _

_ how’s cherry? _

_ 2.34 _

_ u think langa will b okay? _

_ 2.57 _

_ im scared, joe…  _

Kojiro sighs again, rubbing his face with his free hand; then he types a reply. 

_ 3:02 _

_ Thank you, kid. It’s okay. Cherry is fine, some broke bones,  _

_ but he’ll survive… Langa will be fine, we’ll make sure of it,  _

_ okay? Don’t worry about it. Adam won’t hurt him. _

_ 3:02 _

_ Go to sleep, kid. It’s a school night. _

_ 3:05 _

  1. _thanks. see you soon._



_ 3:05 _

_ Take care, Reki. _

He lets the phone drop on the mattress, then hides his face on the pillow again. He lets the tiredness get the best of him, and he punches the pillow beside him, the one that has been unoccupied for so long, waiting for a long time owner to enjoy it… Waiting for someone who wouldn’t be coming, not then, not soon, and definitely not now.

Not now, that Ainosuke was back. Not now, that the object of Kaour’s affections had made a comeback, installing right back in his chest, where he had always belonged, from the first time he had seen him skate. 

They had been so young. They weren’t older than Langa and Reki are right now, and Kaoru had fallen head over heels for him as soon as he had seen him. How he skated, how swiftly he moved, the control he had over his board, over his whole body. Kojiro remembered all the times Kaoru had just rambled and rambled about his fascination for Ainosuke when they were at school, and Kojiro had listened, because if he couldn’t have Kaoru, at least he could let him have him. 

He remembered all the times he had felt like he was third wheeling them, when Ainosuke would flirt with Kaoru, and he would throw himself over the blue haired boy, trying to take the most of whatever little he was given. 

Kojiro had had to see Kaoru fall in love with Ainosuke at the same time his feelings for his best friend had started to bloom, and even now, years after Ainosuke left them, told them he was to good for them, broke Kaoru’s heart by telling him he had never been interested, and he never would; he knew Kaoru would still choose Ainosuke over him. 

He had tried so hard to prove he could beat him, not because he wanted someone to beat ADAM, whoever it was, but because he wanted to prove Ainosuke he was good enough for him, he had always been. 

And Kojiro knew Kaoru was too good for him. He had always been. He had always made a point of it. And even if Kojiro played it off, even if he joked about it with him… he still wished Kaoru would notice him in the same way he noticed Ainosuke. 

He was the one who stuck around, after all. They had traveled the world together, they had graduated together, they had still kept competing at S together, Kojiro had decided against opening his restaurant in the United States just so he could still be near Kaoru. 

But it never seemed to be enough for Kaoru. Because he wasn’t Ainosuke, or ADAM. He was Kojiro, he was JOE, he was an imbecile gorilla. 

Groaning, Kojiro rolls in bed, rubbing his eyes. He takes his jacket off, choosing to put on his pajamas. He’s already under the sheets and ready to sleep, when his phone pings. 

He picks it up to see it’s a text from Kaoru. 

_ 4:31 _

_ Thanks for making sure I got home safe. – Sent with Carla Speech-To-Text.  _

Kojiro smiles at the screen, but he doesn’t type a reply; instead choosing to lock his phone and leaving it on the nightstand. 

He knows Kaoru will always choose Ainosuke over him. But there’s something more certain than that; and that is that he would always choose Kaoru over himself. And that no matter what happens, he will always be by his side. 

**Author's Note:**

> if you like my works and would like to support me, you can [buy me a coffee](https://ko-fi.com/marvelousmers)
> 
> and you can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/redpaladinzuko) or [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/stuckylovers)


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